CHUCKWAGON: I tells ya it’s a quagmire, Johnny. A real quagmire!
JOHNNY: You don’t have to tell me, Chuckwagon! I fought in Antietam. Where’s the Marshall?
CHUCKWAGON: Silverango Canyon!
JOHNNY: I know what I have to do. Chuckwagon, fetch my golden fountain pen.
(Mug tip to Allah.)