Top Ten Messages Left on Cat Stevens' Answering Machine
10. "We at Iraqi Airlines heard what happened, so we'd like to offer you 20,000 frequent-fatwa miles."
9. "I've been waiting to pick you up at Dulles for three days. Where you at?"
8. "Hi, this is Hall and Oates. How can we go about joining Al-Qaeda?"
7. "It's Johnnie Cochran. Without a trial in court, you must not deport. Call me."
6. "I'm calling from CBS News to confirm reports of a cat that can fly a plane."
5. "It's Britney. Sorry you couldn't make it to my fake wedding."
4. "I must have the wrong number--I was looking for Steven Katz."
3. "Dude, It's Osama. I have an extra ticket to see James Taylor. You in?"
2. "It's Casey Kasem. Good news! You're on the Jihad Top 100."
1. "It's Sean Penn and Michael Moore. Wanna triple date with the Dixie Chicks?"
If you're wondering, Yusuf Islam, formerly known as Cat Stevens, was recently denied entry to the US for national security reasons.