Top 10 Reasons America Should Convert To Islam

10. We would become the most influential Muslim nation in the world.
9. We could attack other Muslim states with impunity.
8. As the most powerful Muslim state, we should control the Muslim holy sites. (How do you say, 'this isn't an invasion, it's a hajj with high volumes of celebratory gunfire' in Arabic?)
7. Our Muslim enemies would either become our friends, or (once again) vow to destroy us. Either way, nothing lost and possibly something gained.
6. Anti-Americanism would suddenly be Islamaphobic and untenable.
5. France would love us again.
4. We would have a wonderful chance to change Islam from the inside.
3. Our spiritual leaders could issue fatwas.
2. As the victims of aggressive cultural imperialism, we'd be entitled to all of the above.

And the number one reason America should convert to Islam: BELLY DANCERS! We'd demonstrate our commitment to deep cultural sensitivity.

Just a Question

for anyone saying that US assistance in Iraq is creating dependency, therefore we need to pull out so the Iraqis can get up and carry their own weight.

Sir or madam, given your view on our presence in Iraq, what is your position on social welfare and affirmative action?

Happy New Year!

I hope everyone had a great one.

I visited family, which is the best thing I can think of to do. What did everyone else do?

Saw two excellent movies: The Polar Express, and Secondhand Lions. I highly recommend both of them. Interestingly, they have a similar message ...